Austin Powers: Goldmember

Well it's time to wrap up the Austin Powers trilogy with it's last installment: Goldmember. The last 2 movies were clever, witty, and above all, funny. So the 3rd movie followed in their footsteps right? Well, let's get the facts out of the way first.

Released in 2002, directed for the 3rd time by Jay Roach, and written once again by Myers and McCullers, with Myers reprising his 3 roles from the previous film, as well as adding another one. It also features Beyonce Knowles, Michael Caine, and a wealth of cameos. Rather than being a spy-movie spoof, it's more of a self-reverential family saga. Is it as bad as it sounds? Not quite, but it's by far the weakest of the 3, so let's see why.

The movie opens with Austin having a movie made about him, created by lowly director Steven Spielberg, and featuring equally lowly actors such as Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito. While that's going on, Dr. Evil is revealing his 3rd absurd world domination scheme  He plans to travel into the past and bring back another villain named Goldmember (Myers, of course), who developed a fusion unit for a tractor beam that Evil plans to use to pull a meteor into the Earths polar ice caps, flooding the world. But before you can say 'No Mr. Bond I expect you to die', Austin and the Secret Service break in and arrest the entire gang.

Remember how at the end of the first film the Queen announced that Austin would be knighted? Well she finally gets round to it in this one, but Austin is bummed to discover that his father Nigel (Caine) has not attended the ceremony. Basil Exposition shows up at his knighthood party to inform Austin that Nigel has been kidnapped, and after discovering his whereabouts from Dr Evil (!?!?), Austin travels back to the 60s to rescue him. While there, he comes across an undercover FBI agent named Foxxy Cleopatra (Knowles), and with help from her and his reluctant, uncaring father, they trying and put a stop to Dr. Evil's latest scheme.

As a conclusion to the trilogy, it ties up the lose ends (even ones we didn't even know existed), but as a comedy film, it falls pretty flat. The spy references are few and far between, the humour is weak and at times very forced, the dysfunctional family element detracts from what should be the real focus, the evil plan, and it really doesn't do anything new. Knowles doesn't do a terrible job, but much like Penelope Cruz in the 4th Pirates Of The Caribbean film, she's just there to look hot. Fat Bastard appears again, but he's given little to to do, and only a few poor jokes to deliver. Goldmember, the movies title character, has little screen time, and leaves virtually no impact or impression, he's more a plot device. He doesn't even appear on the poster for Heaven sake!

Overall, it's not a terrible movie, it's just not an especially impressive one. I did laugh pretty hard at some of the jokes, such as DeVito as Mini Me, but mostly it's just Knowles looking hot or Austin and Nigel going through their father-son melodrama. Apparently there's going to be a 4th film in the series, and all I can say is, if it's going to be as unnecessary as this one, let's just hope it's 100 times funnier.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

After such a funny and iconic first movie, it was always going to be hard to do a follow up. But with Mike Myers handling the screen play (alongside Michael McCullers of Saturday Night Live) once again, we get one of those rare a sequels that lives up to it's predecessor. I present to you, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

Released in 1999, and once again starring Mike Myers (now in 3 roles rather than 2) alongside new entries Heather Graham and Verne Troyer. Much in the same vein of the first movie, it's about our charismatic hero and attractive heroine trying to to defeat the villain who has, naturally, a diabolical scheme. While having an almost identical story-line as the original, it also has it's charm and wit, and that makes for a great follow-up, so let's dive in.

Following their victory over Dr. Evil in the last film, Austin and Vanessa are happily married and enjoying their honeymoon. But things goes awry when Vanessa turns out to be a homicidal robot programmed to kill him. After she self-destructs, Austin laments upon her loss (a reference to On Her Majesty's Secret Service), but then realizes that he is once again bachelor, and free to indulge in his swinging lifestyle as before.

After return to the Earth from a second spate of cryogenesis, Dr. Evil and his organisation have now established their headquarters in Starbucks in Seattle. His cohorts inform him that they have created a clone of him, who is identical to him in every way, aside from being 1/8th his size, dubbed Mini-Me (Troyer). Following this, Dr. Evil is quick to unveil his newest scheme: To defeat Austin Powers with a Time Machine. Scott's sensible suggestion of using the Machine to travel back in time and kill Powers when he is vulnerable is, of course, dismissed for one infinitely more fatuous. Dr. Evil means to steal Austin Powers 'Mojo', the loss of which will render Powers ultimately powerless.

To steal Powers' Mojo, Evil uses a disgruntled, corpulent Scottish stereotype named 'Fat Bastard' (Myers), who, back in time when Powers was frozen, steals his Mojo, effectively putting Powers out of action. While this is going on, Dr. Evil travels back to the 60s to collect the Mojo, and to see his new base, a hollowed-out Volcano. Did I mention that he's evil?

To help Powers in his mission to stop Dr. Evil once again trying to extort $100,000,000,000 from the World Government, Austin works with another agent named Felicity Shagwell (Graham), who, unfortunately has the hots for our newly impotent hero.

Staying true to the Bond spoofing formula, we get much the same as the first movie. All the dumb plans, unnecessary speeches, provocatively named female characters, it's all here, but what makes this movie work is it's jokes. It's got a lot of great gags, a lot of which revolve round Fat Bastard, who just cracks me up. His constant anger, thick accent, and fervent believe that he is highly desirable all add up to a very memorable character. If I had to pick 1 thing that I really don't enjoy, it would be the character of Mini-Me. I think the movie could've worked just as well, if not better, without him. He's just annoying, especially the squeaky noise he always make.

But that aside, I always enjoy watching this film. You can put it on anytime and it'll put a big smile on your face. Will the next film make it 3 out of 3? Tune in next week to find out.

Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

I love spoof movies. The Naked Gun series, Airplane, Hot Shots, all of which follow a simple formula: Using intelligence to create a stupid movie. You have to be clever to make a film that is so wonderfully dumb, a fact that many movie-makers neglect these days. So to celebrate the glorious world of facetious films, I'm going to look a Spoof Movie trilogy, The Austin Power series, beginning with the first film, International Man of Mystery.

Directed by Jay Roach (who also directed the Meet The Parents series), released in 1997, and starring Mike Myers (who also wrote the screenplay), Liz Hurley, Michael York, Robert Wagner and Seth Green. The film and it's sequels are a spoof of spy films, predominantly the early James Bond movies, which satirizes the silly elements that we came to love about them. One of the funniest movies of the 90's, it deserves all the credit it has garnered over the years, so let's see why.

The movie opens in London, where the Swinging 60s are in full, eh, swing. Here we come across British spy Austin Powers (Myers), and his arch-nemesis Dr. Evil (also Myers). With help from British Intelligence Agent Basil Exposition (York), he tracks Dr. Evil to a nightclub, where Evil escapes inside a Rocket disguised as a 'Big Boy' statue, cryogenically freezing himself in the process. In the event that he should return, Austin volunteers to have himself frozen as well.

We then cut to 1997, where Dr. Evil has come back to Earth, and has been concocting, of course, a dastardly scheme. With the help of his number 2 man, Number 2 (Wagner) and several unscrupulous henchmen, they plan to threaten the world with a Nuclear Warhead, and ransom the World's Governments for $100,000,000,000. But he also has the issue of bonding with his rebellious teenage son Scott (Green), who was created from his frozen semen while he was in cryogenesis.

With Austin out of frozen stasis and ready to pursue Dr. Evil once again, he is assigned a partner to help him in his quest, and to help him acclimatize to the 90s, Vanessa Kensington (Hurley), the daughter of Austin's partner in the 60s. Together, Austin and Vanessa attempt to foil Evil's plans, but our villain is not prepared to go down so easily.

Yep, it's a comical look at classic Bond movies from the 60s and 70s. A super-evil villain wants to achieve supreme power, and it's up to our suave, sweet-talking hero to stop him, all the while trying to charm his astoundingly beautiful partner, although in this movie she has a normal name.

The majority of the humour that comes from the film is based around the cliches and laughable aspects that we all remember from those movies, usually revolving around the villains. Ridiculous schemes, dumb henchmen, silly names, maniacal laughter, long speeches, and best of all, the methods by which they try to kill the heroes. Sharks, laser traps, burning alive, drowning, the list goes on. This film, of course, takes full advantage of all of these. As a satire, it's pretty close to perfect. The jokes, the deadpan performances, the progression of Dr. Evils plan, and do I even have to mention the catchphrases: 'Yeah baby', 'Oh behave', 'One million dollars', you all know them and you all love them.

Nothing much else to say really. One of the best spoofs, one of the best comedies, and one of the most endearing films ever made. I would say check it out, but I know you already have.

Hard Boiled

Well, it's been a roller coaster ride, but we've safely reached the end of John Woo Month, and as with my other special months, I've saved the best till last. You thought the previous 3 films were off the chain, well they have nothing on this one. Not just one of Woo's best action films, but one of the best action films in general. It's the moment you've been waiting for, so I'm going to save you the suspense. This, is Hard Boiled.

Released in 1992, Woo's final Hong Kong film before transferring to Hollywood, and starring screen legend Chow Yun-Fat alongside Tony Yeung and Anthony Wong, Hard Boiled follows a Hong Kong cop and his vendetta against a local crime syndicate. If you combine all of the violence perpetrated in the other films I've looked at this month, it wouldn't amount to half the carnage we see in this one. Are you ready? I sure hope so, cos we're diving right in.

This action-packed movie opens, like all actions-packed movies do, in a tea shop. Here we come across our hero, Inspector Yeun a.k.a., Tequila, and his partner, who are attempting to bust a group of drug smugglers. Unfortunately, things don't go smoothly, and during an epic gun fight Tequila's partner is killed. Slightly peeved by this, Tequila becomes determined to take down the gang to avenge his fallen comrade.

We discover that a crime syndicate run by a man named Johnny Wong (Wong, surprisingly) is keen to recruit Triad rookie Tony (Yeung). After another epic gunfight at an arms warehouse, Tony turns against his former employer and joins Wong's gang. During the battle, Tequila and Tony meet for the first time.

After discovering that Tony is an undercover Cop, Tequila decides to secretly team up with him and locate the site of Wong's hidden arsenal before he can reek all kinds of havoc with it. This results in, of course, several more epic gunfights.

Remember last year when I reviewed Plan 9 From Outer Space, and how I said I laughed at it more than I had laughed at some actual comedies, well the same applies here. This is one of the most gratuitously violent and chaotic movies I've ever seen. The action scenes are protracted, the story is non-nonsensical, 90% of the characters are just there to die, and it stretches the audience's suspense of disbelieve to breaking point; and I absolutely love it. By far my favourite Woo movie. It's the excessiveness that makes it so watchable, I roll over laughing at it everytime. It's a sheer delight to witness destruction on such an unbelievable level, and evokes a kind of desire to be in such as situation yourself, gunning down a million bad guys left, right and centre; making everything explode simply by firing a gun that, mysteriously, you never seem to have to reload. You know those video game cheat codes that gave you unlimited ammunition, and how every gunfighter in movie history seemed to have that luxury in an intense situation? Well on the DVD case is a quote which informs us that Tequila 'never reloads and never misses'. Oh yes, this movie acknowledges the fact that our protagonist will never run out of bullets. How cool is that?

Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed John Woo Month, and now you have a chance to relax and let the dust settle. As always, normal service resumed next week.

Hard Target

While the previous 2 movies of John Woo Month focused mostly on gun fights, today's films is also geared more towards martial arts. Woo's first American film, and the first major Hollywood film by a Chinese director: Hard Target.

Released in 1993, and starring John-Claude Van Damme, Lance Henriksen, Yancy Butler and Arnold Vosloo, Hard Target follows a distraught daughter trying to unravel the mystery behind her fathers death in New Orleans. While not his most successful film at the box office or with critics, it has all the Woo trademarks, and as his first big film released outside of his native China, is deserves it's acknowledgement.

The movie opens with a man named Douglas Binder, a homeless veteran, on the run from a group of mercenaries led by Emil Fouchon (Henrikson) and his lieutenant Pik Van Cleaf (Vosloo). They run a criminal organisation in which, for a considerable sum of money, they find destitute individuals who them and their clients hunt for sport. To make their chases more interesting, they only hunt men with military experience.

After a challenging pursuit, Binder is killed, and forgotten about as soon as all of their other prey. But unbeknownst to them, Binder has a daughter named Natasha (Butler), who has traveled to New Orleans to find him. To aid her in her search, she hires the services of a homeless man with incredible martial arts skills, and suspiciously clean and neat hair and clothing despite being out on the streets.

The man in question, Chance Boudreaux (Van Damme), helps Natasha in her search, discovering that Binder was roped into the hunting game while handing out flyers for a seedy recruiter named Randal. Upon confronting Randal, Chance discovers the existence of the mercenaries, and in doing so, incurs their wrath, resulting in him becoming, unwittingly, their next target.

Of all the Woo films I've seen, it's definitely one of his weaker efforts. The plot is paper-thin and the writing is poor, even by his standards. Also it suffers from, big shock, some below-par acting by Van Damme. But let's face it, like his other movies, he's there to do what he does best, kick profound amounts of ass. This is where the movie naturally excels, it's action scenes. As well as all the usual shoot-outs and chases (including a rather spectacular one on motorcycles), we get a few great Kung Fu scenes, such as Natasha and Chance's first encounter. But by far the best part of the film is the climax, where Van Damme is outnumbered and cornered in an abandoned warehouse. This has some of Woo's best choreographed and most entertaining violence. One of his most gratuitous shoot-outs, and also one of his best.

So, yeah, its dumb, it's over-the-top, it makes little sense, but it's always a ton of fun to watch. Is it his best film? No. So what is? Well I can't really decide. But what I can decide on is his most unhinged and, for lack of a better term, Wooest. Tune in next week to find out which one it is.

Face/Off

The second review of John Woo Month, and the second appearance of John Travolta. Throughout his career he's played goodies (Pulp Fiction, Grease) and baddies (Swordfish, The Punisher), but in today's film, he get the chance to play both. It's one of Woo's most financially and critically successful cinematic escapades, Face/Off.

Released in 1997 and starring Travolta alongside Nicolas Cage, Joan Allen and Alessandro Nivola, Face/Off tells the story of an FBI agent attempting to foil a terrorist's plans to blow up Los Angeles by switching identities with him. One of Woo's smartest, slickest and all round most impressive films, as well as one of his highest grossing, it never ever fails to impress.

The film open with our 2 main characters, FBI agent Sean Archer (Travolta) and international terrorist Castor Troy (Cage), the latter planning to assassinate the former at a fairground. Unfortunately, Troy's bullet does not kill Archer, instead taking the life of Archer's beloved son Michael.

Cut to some years later, and we discover that Archer has an understandably personal vendetta against Troy, who has planted a bomb somewhere in Downtown L.A. Archer discovers that Troys younger sibling Pollux (Nivola) has chartered a private jet. With a unique knowledge of Troy and his habits, Archers know that Pollux would not be making such a move without his big brother, and as such, plans to ensnare him before takeoff. After a shoot-out in which lots of things explode in slow motion, Archer captures Troy and Pollux. Sadly, the former is in a coma and the latter will not divulge the location of the bomb.

Desperate for answers, considering they have no idea how long they have before detonation, Archer agrees to an experimental surgical procedure in which he literally switches faces with Troy, and enters the jail in which Pollux is incarcerated in order to talk the bomb's location out of him.

Thing would progress smoothly from here, where it not for Troy miraculously waking from his coma, taking Archers face, assuming his identity, and reeking all kinds of havoc upon the city.

                                'You think Seasons Of The Witch was painful, I was in Old Dogs!'

Most of Woo's flicks are pretty straight forward, but this one is a notable exception. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's actually fairly complex. Having our lead characters switching identities and exploring each others lives, interacting with each others families and their everyday activities is very interesting and gives the movie a level of depth that we don't often see in Woo's flicks. Travolta & Cage are given the ability to explore both characters, giving us both silly and serious sides of their acting talents. I especially love when Travolta tells Pollux how ridiculous his hair and chin is.

The action scenes, as you would expect, are incredible. Gun fights, prison breaks, boat chases, all of which are handled with style and competence by our talented director, who clearly loves every minute of it. As a result, we get a film that we love too. One of Woo's best, no doubt about. Fast paced, unique, complex but always with that notion that a fight scene is just round the corner, it continues to be one of my favourites.

Broken Arrow

Dear readers, welcome to the moment you have all been waiting for. Everything you've seen on my blog has been building up to this. So strap yourself in, grab a beer, put on your sunglasses, kick back, and prepare your minds for an orgy of excessivness. You thought 'Schwarzenegger Month' was the final word in non-stop action, you ain't seen nothing yet. Ladies & Gentlemen, get ready for John Woo month!

Yep, you all know him, and you all love him. You may act like you don't, but when you want an action film that blows each and every one of your senses, there is no one quite like Woo. So to celebrate this Cinematic icon, I'm going to look at 4 of his films this month, beginning with Broken Arrow.

Released in 1996, and starring John Travolta (pre-Battlefield Earth), Christian Slater (pre-Alone In The Dark) and Samantha Mathis (post-Super Mario Brothers), the movie follows an attempt by an Air Force Pilot to steal 2 nuclear weapons in order to blackmail the Government. It's everything you'd expect from Mr Woo. Plenty of action, plenty of explosions, plenty of gunfights. Sanity or rationale plays little part in this flick, and that's exactly what we want. Let's dive right in.

The movie opens with a boxing match between our 2 main characters, Victor Deakins (Travolta), and Riley Hale (Slater), 2 American Air Force Pilots who are assigned a highly confidential mission: Fly a new-model Stealth Bomber with 2 nuclear weapons on board. After some banter, Deakins attempts to shoot Hale, resulting in a struggle. Deakins jettisons the warheads, ejects from the plane, and leaves Hale for dead.

This situation results in a 'Broken Arrow', wherein nuclear weapons are reported missing. As you would expect, a crack team is sent in to retrieve them. But, as you also would expect, they are all killed by Deacon and his group of cronies, who are hoping to use the threat of a nuclear explosive to extort money from the Government.

Hale meanwhile, very much alive, is discovered by Park Ranger Terry Carmichael (Mathis), and convinces her to help find recover the warhead before Deakins can carry out his evil plans.

Yep, pretty basic set-up. Bad guy wants to perpetrate carnage, good guy has to stop him. But as usual, Woo takes full advantage of it, ensuring that not a single second of the film is dull or uninteresting. If there's one thing Woo is good with, it's generously filling his movies with gratuity. Our 2 leads share some enjoyable dialogue, Travolta is likeably over the top as the villain, and while it's light on coherence, it's heavy on action, & as I said earlier, that's exactly what we want to see here.

More John Woo movies on the way.

Trainspotting

If I asked you to empty your mind and think of a Scottish film, you would almost certainly say 'Braveheart', and you would be forgiven for this. It won 5 Academy Awards, and represented, accurately or not, arguably the most famous Scotsman ever to have lived: William Wallace. But for today's review, I'm going to check out another Scottish movie, one that received critical acclaim upon release, and remains a favourite among movie lovers: Trainspotting.

Released in 1996 under the direction of Danny Boyle (127 Hours, Slumdog Millionaire), and based on the Irvine Welsh book, Trainspotting stars Ewan McGregor, Johnny Lee Miller, Ewen Bremner, Robert Carlyle and Kevin McKidd. It focuses on a group of heroin addicts and the events that transpire over the course of an indefinite period of time. Voted the Best Scottish Film by a general poll in 2004, it's gritty, harsh, and portrays drug addicts in an unbelievably stark manner. Let's dive right it.

The movie opens on Princes Street, Edinburgh, where 2 of our main characters, Renton (McGregor) and Spud (Bremner) are seen running from the authorities after a failed robbery. This leads into an introduction of our other central characters, Sick Boy (Miller), Tommy (McKidd), and Begbie (Carlyle). Renton, Spud and Sick Boy are heroin addicts, spending their time shooting up in their dealer's flat. After one of his hits wears off, Renton declares that he is quitting Heroin, and going to live a normal life.

After the inevitable withdrawal, Renton, along with Spud and Sick Boy (who have also quit) go about like like ordinary citizens. But the realities of their lives which they have been avoiding through Heroin use hit them full-force, and after several unfortunate incidents to hammer the point home, they take to Heroin once again. Unfortunately, this only serves to fuel their descent into misery and depression, as everything around them falls apart, and the group slowly begins to dissolve.

To escape his fruitless life in Edinburgh, Renton leaves for London, where he finally sets himself up for a life of peace and sobriety. But escaping his past proves harder than he first imagined, as several of his old 'friends' pay him a visit, bearing increasingly bad news.

The movie is about as frank an account of drug addiction as has been seen in cinema. It did for drugs what 'The Lost Weekend' did for alcohol, presenting a warts-and-all story of how it affects everyday people, and how out of control their lives becomes when they are dependent on such a manipulating and destructive force. But it doesn't just look at the dangerous of illicit substances, it looks at the volatility of friendships as well. Begbie is one of the most horrible, uncaring characters ever committed to celluloid. He doesn't need drugs, he gets his kicks from violence and chaos. Bar fights, brawls, or just picking on somebody who was making too much noise for his liking, nobody is safe from his wrath. We can only assume that our protagonists remain friends with him due to the fact that it's better to be with the Devil than against him.

All of this adds up to a very shocking and memorable flick. Unflinching, uncompromising, decadent, depraved, but also with it's humorous and optimistic moments, Trainspotting is a must-have for an movie buff. There's no movie like it, and there probably never will be.

The Big Lebowski

For my 1 year anniversary review I took a look at the movie 'Withnail & I', and during the review I remarked upon the film's quotability; i.e, it's plethora of recitable lines that people use in day-to-day situations. While making this comment, I mentioned a movie of a similar disposition; one where almost every line has been used by it's fans in their own lives, much to the amusement of themselves and others. From the productive minds of the Coen brothers, it's their 1998 comedy The Big Lebowski.

Starring Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, David Huddleston and Steve Buscemi, The Big Lebowski follows a humble slacker who is mistaken for a millionaire businessman, and in turn, becomes embroiled in a kidnapping and random scheme. Unappreciated in it's times, the movie has since become one of the world's pre-eminent cult films, spawning posters, t-shirts, bumper stickers and even it's very own festival. Funny almost beyond description, it deserves a mention on this blog, so here it is.

The movie opens in LA, where we are introduced to our hero, and I do mean hero: The Dude. Aside from being one of the coolest, funniest, and most likable characters in cinematic history, he's played by Jeff Bridges, one of the acknowledged 'dudes' of the film world. Trust me, he kicks ass.

The Dude is an unemployed stoner and bowling enthusiast who returns home one night and gets attacked by thugs who mistake him for the wealthy Jeff Lebowski, which also happens to be The Dude's real name. After not getting what they want, one of the thugs urinates on The Dudes rug, much to The Dude's annoyance. Believe it or not, this minor act of soiling becomes, essentially, the driving forces of the movie. No, I'm not kidding.

The Dude discusses his woes with his bowling team-mates: Walter (Goodman), an overzealous, easily angered Jewish Vietnam veteran; and Donny (Buscemi), a naive, good-natured, pro-bowler. The Dude decides to visit the 'Big Lebowski' (Huddleston), a prominent achiever who has no sympathy for The Dude's predicament, dismissing him as a 'bum'. But when Lebowski's wife Bunny gets kidnapped, he ropes in The Dude to get her back, completely forgetting the whole, 'good for nothing deadbeat' thing.

With the involvement of The Dude and Walter, what should be a very simple abduction story-line becomes wonderfully over-complicated with elements such as broody feminists, German Nihilists, private detectives, and blue movie directors. Thought a film could be more difficult to follow than Memento? Well this would give it a run for it's money.

Seeing this movie several years ago, it quickly shot up the list of my favourite comedies, and despite the number of times I've seen it, I laugh just as hard everytime. Much like comedy classics like 'Fawlty Towers', you not only laugh at the jokes, you laugh in anticipation of them. I start tittering when I know a funny scene is approaching, and throughout the scene, I'm in stitches.

As mentioned previously, it's the dialogue that makes this movie. 'Shut the fuck up Donny', 'They peed on my fucking rug', 'That's just, like, your opinion man', 'The Dude abides' the list goes on and on. I use so many lines from the film in my everyday life, and many hundreds of thousands of other people do likewise. The Coen brothers were definitely on-the-ball when they wrote the screenplay, and I could hear the words over and over again.

Finally, as I hinted previously, the film contains one of the most perfect casting choices in history. The Coen brothers themselves said that they wrote the film with Jeff Bridges in mind for the part, and Bridges himself has stated that it is the role he identified with most. When you watch the film, you don't see an actor, you see The Dude. He has no job, no prospects, no respect or sympathy from the majority, but he doesn't care. He's just living his life the way he wants to. A legend to some, a God to many, and the centerpiece of one of comedies most endearing achievements. The Big Lebowski; if you haven't seen it then beware, someone may just come along and cut off your Johnson!

Bad Boys II

Well, after looking at Bad Boys last week, it's only fitting that we take a gander at it's sequel, Bad Boys 2. If you thought the first one was insane, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Released in 2003, directed again by Michael Bay, and starring retuning actors Will Smith, Martin Lawrence and Joe Pantoliano alongside Gabriel Union and Jordi Mollà, Bad Boys 2 picks up the, ahem, story, 8 years later. This time our wise-cracking heroes are tasked with bringing down a Cuban drug lord, and investigating the trafficking of Ecstasy into Miami. This first film wasn't exactly restrained, but compared to this one, it was like watching The English Patient. Even by Bay's standards, it's wildly excessive, but is it enjoyably excessive? Let's find out.

The movie opens with the Miami Police Department's Tactical Narcotics Team (TNT) tracking a shipment of Ecstasy coming in from Amsterdam. Mike (Smith) and Marcus (Lawrence) are sent in undercover to intercept the shipment and apprehend those responsible. Unfortunately, the raid goes awry in almost every sense of the word. Back-up is delayed, the radios malfunction, Mike and Marcus are caught amidst a gun fight, and Mike even manages to shoot Marcus in the ass. Ouch!

Marcus has been re-evaluating his partnership with Mike, deciding to transfer to another department, feeling it is best for himself and his family. But unbeknownst to Marcus, Mike has been dating his sister Syd (Union), and is afraid to reveal this, believing it will create further tensions between them.

If that wasn't awkward enough, Syd is an undercover agent for the DEA, also attempting to bust the Ecstasy shipments, which turn out to be run by Johnny Tapia (Mollà, who ironically played a drug dealer in Blow), who imports his drugs via boat and distributes them via nightclubs run be reprehensible Russians gangsters

                                                         Just another day at the office

So just like in the last film, Mike and Marcus bend, and even break, numerous rules in order to bust the bad guys and save the day. Insert every action cliché in the book: Car chases, shoot-outs, explosions, and the obligatory one-liners. All make it into this film, and Bay exploits them like there is no tomorrow. Watching the 2 films back-to-back, you would never guess the were made by the same person, the first one wasn't exactly subtle, but it had it's grounded moments. In this movie everything is fast paced, loud, in your face. The quiet scenes are truncated to make way for longer and louder action scenes. The plot is toned down so it doesn't interfere with the crashing and smashing. On some levels, it's incredibly annoying. It felt like when I was on the Khao San Road in Bangkok, where everything is up close and unrelenting.

But on other levels, it does what it needs to do: Give you an unadultered shot of adrenaline straight to the eye sockets. The brash nature of the action scenes actually do make them a lot of fun to watch, and nearly every single one of them is memorable; about the only parts of the movie that are.

Received by critics even less favourably than it's predecessor, Bad Bays 2 is a stupid film, but it's a knowingly stupid film. It isn't intelligent, but never gives the impression that it is. Bay is doing what he does best; directing mayhem and marketing it to the teenage demographic. While it is tiresome and utterly incomprehensible, I still enjoy it. It's the type of film that, with select friends and a copious supply of alcohol, makes the perfect night in. Bad Boys 2:  Possibly the dumbest film you will ever admit to enjoying.

Bad Boys

Today readers, I'm going to review a Michael Bay movie. Apologies in advance.

Yes Michael Bay is almost on par with M. Night Shyamalan when it comes to cinematic punchlines. Whenever you see either of their names in a movies pre-credits, you simply can't stifle a giggle. But it's not unjust; both have earned their negative reputation. But today's film I wasn't even aware was directed by Bay until doing research for movies for this blog. That's not the crazy thing however. What is crazy is that I really, really like this film, and I bet you do too. This is Bad Boys.

Released in 1995, and starring Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Tea Leoni and Joe Pantoliano, Bad Boys follows 2 police officers trying to track down a stolen drug stash by switching identities. Like most Bay films, it was an enormous financial success, but failed to please the majority of critics. In most regards, it's a guilty pleasure in every sense of the phrase, but with a completely over-the-top buddy cop crime caper starring Martin Lawrence, what else could you be expecting?

The movie opens with a group of masked criminals stealing a considerable volume of Heroin from a Miami Police Station. Mildy peeved by this, Police Captain Howard (Pantoliano) calls in 2 Narcotics Officers, handsome, smooth talking Mike Lowrey (Smith), and hot-headed family man Marcus Burnett (Lawrence). Did I mention this was buddy-cop movie?

With Internal Affairs convinced the raid was an inside job, and giving the cops only 5 days to recover the dope before the department is shut down, Lowrey & Burnett immediately start investigating. After an informant friend of Lowrey's is found dead with remnants of the stolen Heroin nearby, they discover a surviving witness from the crime scene, Julie (Leoni), who can identify the perpetrators. Unfortunately, she will only divulge her knowledge to Lowrey, who is out of action with a head injury. Desperate to find out what she knows, Howard orders Burnett to assume Lowrey's identity. Initially unconvinced, Julie rebuffs his attempts to help her, but eventually relents.

                                                       Must resist Men In Black joke!

Well it's a Michael Bay film, so I guess we should begin with the negatives. The concept, old as history. The plot, weak and often incomprehensible. The action, same old. It's a tired formula pretty much on it's last legs. Nothing new, no nutrients added, no waste material removed.

But now the positives, because there are a few that stand out. First of all, the supporting performances. Not Oscar-worthy, but everyone does a convincing job in their respective role. Pantoliano as the perpetually frustrated Captain, and Julie as the reluctant informant and occasional damsel in distress. The villain, while clichéd, is good fun to watch. Even when he smiles and seems happy, an air of menace always following him, even if his ultimate motivation is nothing more than money.

But what makes this movie is it's 2 leads. Smith and Lawrence work off each other perfectly. It's very much the way you would go on at your best friends, slinging verbal abuse and taunts at one another, and at the end of the day saying 'So, see you tomorrow then?' Director John Singleton once said that you 'can't cast chemistry', and that true friendship between characters has to be natural in order to be realistic. This is very much the case here. The best parts of the film are watching Smith and Lawrence vocally toing-and-froing, unscripted in some cases. The screenplay is often very amusing, but Bay allegedly did not like significant portions of it, and encouraged Smith and Lawrence to free-associate, resulting in some of the films's funniest and most memorable scenes.

So, yeah, a worn-out formula, emphasised by raw Michael Bay vacuousness; but out of the muddy waters of  unoriginality slither performances and dialogue that almost pull it's head above the water. If you had no idea Bay directed this, you would think it was dumb. If you did, you would know it was. Take it for what it's worth. Check it out and decide for yourself.

Wayne's World

Today's movie holds a special significance for me. Why? Because the main character has the same name as me of course: This is Wayne's World.

Based on the popular 'Saturday Night Live' Sketch, Wayne's World was released in 1992 under the direction of Penelope Spheeris (The Little Rascals) and stars Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Tia Carrere and Rob Lowe. The story follows 2 best friends and their hugely popular cable-television show. One of the wittiest comedies ever made, it's an instant classic, and we're gonna look at it today.

Wayne Campbell (Myers) and Garth Algar (Carvey), 2 dim-witted but friendly guys from Illinois host a weekly TV show which is very popular with the locals. Ben Kane (Lowe), a TV executive, sees the potential profit to be made from the show, and after meeting our 2 heroes, buys the rights to the show from them for $10,000, keeping them as the hosts.

Around the same time, Wayne falls for a rock singer and bassist named Cassandra (Carrere) of the band Crucial Taunt. Unfortunately, Benjamin also takes a liking to her, and after sending Wayne and Garth off to an Alice Cooper gig, attempts to get close to her, offering her a record deal.

Upon hosting their first show under Benjamin's direction, they discover that they are being forced to interview the show's sponsor, and after Wayne threatens to walk out, they find out that all Benjamin wants is the rights to the show, and couldn't care less about whether or not our protagonists are involved.

With tensions mounting between Wayne, Garth and Cassandra, our hapless heroes are forced to do all they can to retake their show and get everything back to the way it was. Along the way they encounter cameos from Meat Loaf, Alice Cooper, Fabio and Robert Patrick.

One of the few SNL sketches to make the successful transition to film, Wayne's World is a perfect example of a silly film done right. Much like Myer's Austin Powers movies, you don't take it seriously, but the film KNOWS you aren't supposed to take it seriously. None of it's outlandish elements are overdone or shoved in your face. It's a series of funny, likeable characters interacting through a series of peculiar and surreal scenarios. Our 2 heroes are impossible not to like. Their wide-eyedness, their naivety, the conversations they have and some of the quips they make are just hysterical. My personal favourite has to be 'Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.' Awesome.

Nothing else to say really. Wayne's World is a great idea with a great delivery. Funny, smart, charming and undeniably lovable; what more could you possibly want?

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

So we come to it at last. The final movie in our celebration of arguably the worlds best known action star. A man whose body count is in astronomical figures. One who will happily punch man, woman, child, alien or camel. The master of explosions and cheesy quips now reaches his finest hour. The moment you've all been waiting for: Arnold Schwarzenegger's magnum opus Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

Released in 1991, 7 years after the original, and directed once again by James Cameron, Terminator 2 stars Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick and Earl Boen. The central idea is similar to the first film, but this time we have 2 Terminators sent back in time to duke it out. It's a fitting conclusion to 'Schwarzenegger Month', as well as one of my favourite movie of all time; let's see why.

The movie takes place 11 years after the events portrayed in the original. John Conner (Furlong), now a 10 year old boy, lives a rebellious lifestyle in Los Angeles. His mother Sarah (Hamilton) has been committed for her fervent beliefs that the machines will rise up against humans, and that 'Judgement Day', a day in which almost all of mankind will be exterminated, is imminent. She attempts to convince her Psychiatrist Dr. Silberman (Boen, reprising his role from the first movie), that she no longer believes in this future, and is ready to transfer to a minimum security facility so she can be visited by John. Silberman believes that Sarah is simply telling him what he wants to hear, and will attempt to escape should she be moved.

John lives with foster parents, and has all but disowned his mother, of whom he is embarrassed, not buying any of her 'Leader of the Future Resistance' stories. But that all changes when Skynet sends, what else, a Terminator, back in time to kill him. This particular Terminator, a T-1000 (Patrick), is an advanced prototype with liquid metal skin, and the ability to imitate people, voices, and even create 'knives, and stabbing weapons'. Fortunately, the human resistance is able to send a Terminator of it's own, albeit a bog-standard one. A model T-800 (Schwarzenegger), reprogrammed to protect John, finds him at roughly the same time as the T-1000, and the battle for John Connor's life and his destiny as humanities last hope begins.

Just like in the first movie, also a masterpiece, the evil Terminator stalks it's quarry relentlessly. Now Arnold, John and his mother (who they broke out of the asylum), have the challenge of not only fighting off an unstoppable predator, but of also preventing the day in which mankind will be almost entirely decimated by weapons and equipment that they had designed to protect themselves, a theme explored more recently in I, Robot (2004).

                                          Governor of California? This guy? Yeah right!

What results is one of the most intelligent, well paced, earnestly acted and brilliantly directed flicks of all time. Say what you want about James Cameron, he knows how to do an action movie, and this is by far his finest achievement, as well as Arnold's. This film has some of the best action scenes in history. Car chases, shoot-outs, 1-on-1 battles, this film has them all, and each one is better than the last.

As well as the adrenaline-charged actions, the film is also backed up by a solid and well-developed storyline. It's great to see the concept of global destruction being examined, and the impact it has on the people who allegedly have the power to stop it is fascinating as well as compelling.

I also love the emotional turmoil John goes through. In his first feature film, Furlong is stellar in the role of a reluctant Messiah, realizing that not only has everything that his mother told him been true, but also having to come to terms with his role as mankind's soon-to-be saviour.

As with any film you adore, it's possible to talk about it for hours, but I'm just going to wrap it up here. One of my favourite movies, easily top 5, Terminator 2 is clever, thrilling, has great characters, groundbreaking special effects, and a legitimately emotional ending. A landmark in Sci-Fi Cinema, and culture in general.

Hope you enjoyed Schwarzenegger Month, another special month coming your way in August.

The Running Man

Today's movie will be familiar to anyone who has read/seen the recent cultural phenomenal 'The Hunger Games', in that it's core concepts are practically identical. The penultimate film in our celebration of the former Californian Governator, The Running Man.

Released in 1987, under the direction of Paul Michael Glaser (originally Andrew David) and starring Arnold along-side Maria Alonso, Richard Dawson, Yaphet Kotto and Marvin McIntyre; it features, as I hinted before, a group of people fighting for survival in a brutal contest that is broadcast to the nation. It's another classic Arnold 'Kill and quip' thriller, and another one released from the golden age of action flicks. What does it have in store for you? Allow me to fill you in.

The film is set in the far future (2017). The world, would you believe it, has become a dystopia, in which the Government placates the hoi polloi by broadcasting a number of ultra-violent TV shows. One of the most popular of these is The Running Man, in which convicted criminals are placed in a gladiatorial arena, and forced to battle trained warriors. The winners receive a full pardon and are set free, the losers get exactly what they deserve. What you expect, sorry.

Enter Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger) a military pilot who, after refusing to fire on a group of starving civilians, gets himself arrested, and the entire incident is doctored to look like he not only fired upon the civilians, but did so out of disobedience and malice. Thus, Richards is imprisoned, and eventually blackmailed into competing in the show by it's charismatic host Killian (Dawson). Also forced to take part as 'runners' are 2 of Arnold's friends Laughlin & Weiss (Kotto and McIntyre respectively), and Amber (Alonso), who grassed him up and got him in this mess in the first place.

Our 4 main characters are forced to defend themselves against a host of choleric, bloodthirsty baddies who wield weapons such as chainsaws, flamethrowers and razor-sharp hockey sticks. To defeat them and bring down the smug, suit-wearing villain, Arnold is forced to summon all his bulging muscles and facetious one-liners, resulting in all of his trademarks coming out in full bloom.

The 80s and early 90s were rife with movies of this nature, and Schwarzenegger was most definitely in his element. Not being famed for his acting prowess, the filmmakers very wisely allowed Arnold's actions do the talking. As a result, many of the films were pretty samey, but if you liked the concept, you always got a kick out of them, and that's what we have with The Running Man. Anyone familiar The Hunger Games and the Japanese Battle Royal film series will be familiar with the set up. Unlike Total Recall, which had a very unique concept, The Running Man doesn't. Other criticisms include an uninteresting villain who's only real motivation is money and recognition, and a very bland female lead who's only job is to look pretty and be rescued from peril.

If you are looking for a run-of-the-mill Schwarzenegger film, this is a fair choice. If you are looking for more depth and substance, I would skip it. It's not the best movie he's ever made; far from it. But don't worry, we'll cover that film next week.

Predator

Film number 2 of 'Schwarzenegger Month', and this time Arnold takes his passion and talent for over-the-top violence to the jungles of Central America. This is Predator.

Directed by Action Movie veteran John McTiernan (Die Hard, The Hunt For Red October), and released in 1987 (during Arnold's 'Golden Age'), Predator stars Carl Weathers and Kevin Peter Hall alongside Mr S. It follows a group of Special Forces soldiers sent into the jungle on a daring rescue mission. We have guns, explosions, muscles, and baddies getting their asses handed to them by our brawny hero. So let's get on board with Predator.

In the opening scene, we see an escape pod falling to Earth after being jettisoned from an alien spacecraft. With no idea of whats in the pod, why it was was jettisoned, or where it came from, we cut to our hero, a former Green Beret dubbed Dutch (Schwarzenegger), receiving a high-priority mission from Dillon (Weathers), a former colleague of Dutch's, now working for the CIA. They are sent into the jungles of Central America to rescue a Presidential Candidate abducted by guerrilla forces. Yeah, heard that plot line haven't we?

So Dutch sets out with his elite group of specialist soldiers: Mac, Blain, Billy, Poncho, and Rick, with Dillon serving as a liaison. After choppering into the jungle, they set out on their mission. They soon come across a downed helicopter, and the bodies of several Special Forces members, including some who have been skinned alive. Dutch is unsure as to why they would be there, but Dillion claims he has no idea.

Eventually the group comes across an enemy base, and, in typical Arnold style, they load up and rain down havoc and destruction upon it, eliminating all the bad guys with a shower of bullets, a few bombs and a couple of Schwarzenegger one-liners.

With all the random rebels eliminated, Dutch is rather unhappy to discover that they are not, in fact, there to rescue any politicians. Dillion simply utilized their 'skills' to take out the encampment and it's inhabitants.

While they are preparing to leave the jungle, they are unknowingly being followed by the creature from the escape pod, which has thermal vision and a cloaking device which renders it invisible to human beings.

From then on the creature, the eponymous Predator (Hall), beings to stalk the team, killing them off one by one for sport. The soldiers are clearly outclassed, and as it comes down to just Dutch, we get a one-on-one fight of interstellar proportions, literally. The battle that Arnold has with the Predator is one of the best fights ever seen on film. Despite his incredible physical strength, Arnold is still no match for the creature, forcing him to improvise with whatever he can lay his hands on.

The main problem most critics had with this movie is with the thin plot. It's not very strong, even by Arnold standards. You know whats going to happen, you know who's going to die, and hows it's going to end. But aside from that the movie is pretty solid. The characters all have distinct personalities, the choreography is excellent, the action scenes, some of Arnold's greatest. Despite it's innate predictability, it's still a tonne of fun to watch. You don't care that you know what's going to happen, you just enjoy the build-up and the payoff. Another terrific movie in Schwarzenegger repertoire.

Total Recall

Well, for the 3rd time since I started doing these reviews, I'm going to do another themed month. First we had 'So Bad It's Good September', then we had 'Angelina Jolie Month', now we are going to celebrate the worlds toughest Austrian with 'Schwarzenegger Month'.

For those fans of the Nostalgia Critic, of which I am one, I am fully aware that he also reviewed 4 of Arnold's movies. I loved the idea, so I decided to review another 4 of his films. It's worth noting that I won't be looking at any of the films that the NC looked at, so I'm not entirely ripping him off. But anyway, without further ado, here is the first critique of this special month, 'Total Recall'

Released in 1990 under the direction of  Sci-Fi veteran Paul Verhoeven (Starship Troopers, Robocop) and starting Schwarzenegger alongside Sharon Stone, Rachel Ticotin, Michael Ironside and Ronny Cox, the story concerns a construction worker from the future who finds himself fighting an evil, corrupt governor on Mars. As far as Sci-Fi movies go, it's one of my faves, so let's see what it has to offer.

We are introduced to Douglas Quaid (Schwarzenegger), a construction worker in the year 2084, who has been having recurring dreams about the planet of Mars, which human beings have inhabited. Quaid's wife Lori (Stone) is generally dismissive about these dreams, but is concerned about how much it weighs on her husband's mind. Quaid is fascinated by Mars, and as such, visits a company called Rekall, who are able to literally implant a vacation into their client's heads, and chooses a holiday on Mars. These vacations are free from the usual annoyances encountered on vacations, such as exorbitant hotel prices, unreasonable taxi fares, inclement weather etc.

For an extra 300 'credits', Quaid is able to spice up his vacation by going there as a Secret Agent. Now granted, an Austria body-building secret agent on assignment on Mars sounds pretty cool, but from the get-go, things immediately go awry. Before the memory can be implanted, Quiad becomes hostile, accusing the Rekall employees of blowing his cover. Sedating him, erasing his memory of Rekall, and chucking him a cab home, Quiad then discovers that his wife is, in fact, not his wife, and actually just an agent hired to keep an eye on him. Before he can be murdered by armed thugs, he escapes into the street.

                                                     I'm playing the villain. Surprised?

Just when it seems that not even a dose of the Clap could make his day any worse, he is contacted by a mysterious man who informs him that he is being tracked, and that he is in fact a man called Hauser, and used to work for Vilos Cohaagen (Cox), the cruel and ruthless Governor of Mars. Cohaagen is harvesting an ore called Turbinium, the mining of which releases toxic fumes that puts thousands of innocent lives at risk.

So our hero sets out for Mars to kick Cohaagen's Turbinium-mining ass. Accompanying him is Melina (Ticotin), a woman who has been appearing in Quaid's Mars dreams, and constantly on his tail is Cohaagen's blood-thirsty Lieutenant Richter (Ironside), who wants nothing more than to put a bullet in Quaid's head.

If you are a Schwarzenegger fan, you will love this film. It has everything the man is famous for: Massive gun fights, punch-ups, one-liners, explosions, all that good stuff. On top of this, it has impressive visual effects, memorable characters, and, for a Schwarzenegger film, a pretty complicated plot. It's not just 'Arnold shows up, shoots people and leaves'. There's genuine motivation, making the action all the more compelling. Ronny Cox plays a very nasty villain, determined to do everything to maintain his power, and let nobody stand in the way of his pernicious plans.

I've heard that the 2012 remake was not very impressive, nowhere near the standard of the original. Having never seen it, I can't pass judgement. All I can say is that the original movie is awesome. It's big, clever, faced paced, and has Arnold Schwarzenegger kicking the Bejesus out of countless bad guys. What more could you possibly want?

More 'Schwarzenegger Month' on the way!

Unleashed

Guess what everybody?! ANOTHER MARTIAL ARTS MOVIE!! Yes I know, I've been doing quite a few of them recently, but now that I think about it, there are a tonne of Kung Fu films out there. So today, I'm going to look at yet another martial arts film, or should I say an anti-martial arts film. What do I mean by that? Well let's check out the film and find out. This is Unleashed.

Directed by Louis Leterrier (The Transporter 1 & 2), with screenplay credit going to film heavyweight Luc Besson, and released in 2005, Unleashed stars Jet Li alongside big screen names Morgan Freeman and Bob Hoskins. It follows a man who has been kept confined and emotionally and physically abused by a gangster who claims to be his protector, and him escaping and finding himself out of place in the real world. It's not just a movie about people fighting, it's a dive into a tortured and sheltered psyche, and an attempt to integrate it into modern society. What results is one of my favourite Jet Li films. So, as we always do, lets begin with the story.

A nasty loan shark named Bart (Hoskins) is able to coerce his clients to repay their loans with the use of his underling Danny (Li). Danny has a child's mentality, and is kept repressed by a collar worn round his neck. Once this is removed, he becomes a highly skilled fighter, who's only goal is to eliminate his targets.

Upon discovering an underground fighting tournament in which Danny can make him good money if he wins, he signs him up. But after the very first fight, Bart gets mixed up with a reprobate, and is presumed dead after a shooting. Fortunately Danny escapes, and come across a blind piano tuner named Sam (Freeman), who takes him into his apartment. Here, he is looked after by Sam and his step-daughter Victoria, who treat him with care and compassion, but also a little understandable curiosity.

Danny starts a new life with his new family, attempting to fit into society, but just as things are going well, he runs into one of Bart's lackeys, who informs him that Bart is, in fact, alive and well, and is looking forward to getting him back.

So what we have is a pretty typical fitting-into-social-norm story. For me, what drives this film is Li's performance. I know he isn't regarded as a great actor, but this film really allows him to show what he can do with a role like this. He expresses sadness, misery, vulnerability, curiosity, joy, relief, everything we expect his character to be going through. Freeman is also very good as the man taking Danny under his wing despite knowing almost nothing about him. There's a genuine kindness about him, a quality Freeman has virtually perfected. Bob Hoskins, I have to admit, is a pretty dull villain. His motivation is pretty much money, money, money. He loses Danny, jeopardising his potentially lucrative future, so he wants him back. Aside from that, he just yells and makes threats under his breath.

The marital arts action is actually pretty downplayed. With the exception of the chase near the end, most of the film focuses on developing Danny's character, delving into this past, and establishing the bond with his new family, and I love that. The focus is kept where it should be, and it leads to a very fitting and poignant climax. A great movie, plain and simple.

Dude, Where's My Car?

We've all heard of the 'stoner comedy'. Much like the 'buddy cop' movies I discussed a few weeks ago, they are in no short supply. Harold & Kumar, Clerks, Ali G Indahouse, and pretty much every film in Seth Rogen's repertoire. So, as you may have guessed, the subject of today's review is a stoner movie, one of the most famous as a matter of fact: Dude, Where's My Car?

Released in 2000 (can you believe it), and directed by Danny Leiner (The Great New Wonderful), the movie features Ashton Kutcher (when his films didn't make you want to scalp yourself) and Seann William Scott alongside Jennifer Garner, Marla Sokoloff, and a host of others. Poorly received upon release, it certainly isn't a great movie, but it's nowhere near terrible. It's quirky, inventive, and actually pretty damn funny at times, so let's dive right in.

The movie opens with our 2 pot-headed protagonists, Jesse (Kutcher) and Chester (Scott), finding themselves in that most cliched of waster scenarios: Waking up after a big night, and having no recollection of what took place during it.

After eating some of the pudding they found in their kitchen, a lifetimes supply in fact, they head out to visit their twin girlfriends Wanda & Wilma (Garner and Sokoloff respectively), as it happens to be their anniversary. Unfortunately, upon leaving their house, they almost immediately ask the question that drives the entire movie: Dude, where's my car?

                                                     Kutcher's career went that way!

From then on, our hapless heroes attempt to piece together the events that took place the night before. During this quest, they get into several unsavoury confrontations with a transsexual stripper, get kidnapped by a geeky-space cult, encounter hot alien women in black jumpsuits, are followed by a pair of Nordic spacemen, are taken prisoner by French Ostrich breeders, and have a most annoying incident at a Chinese drive-through. I'll admit, I've had some pretty weird days, but I think this one dwarfs the lot.

So, as you may have gathered, one of the things the movie has going for it is it's inventiveness, or should I say it's outlandishness. I think you would have to be blitzed out of your skull to think up some of the scenarios this film throws at us. Much like Beavis & Butthead: Do America, the main characters are faced with many challenges, and yet manage to deal with all of them while maintaining their characteristically oblivious attitude.

As you may have surmised from the first few paragraphs of this review, I'm not an Ashton Kutcher fan, especially his recent work. The multi-razzie winner has been turning out some utter crap as of late, but here, he's very likable, as is Scotts' character. If they had simply been crass and obnoxious like in so many contemporary stoner films, it would have completely killed it. But as is, we have a flick that is profoundly silly, but at the same time is funny, witty, and actually pretty endearing. As one of the most iconic stoner comedies of all time, it gives you exactly what you are looking for.

Bloodsport

If you read my 'Enter The Dragon' review last month, and my 'The One' review last year, you will know that I'm a sucker for martial arts movies. So, as you may have guessed, today I will be reviewing another one. Based on a true story, the 1988 biopic Bloodsport.

Directed by Newt Arnold, and starring the Muscles from Brussels, Jean Claude Van Damme in one of his first feature films, alongside Donald Gibb, Bolo Yeung and Leah Ayres. The films centres on the real-life Kung Fu tournament known as the Kumite (pronounced as Koo-Mat-Te), and a first timer taking part in order to prove himself as an accomplished martial artist. It's one of my personal favourite Kung Fu films, due to it's story, it's authenticity and, of course, it's kick-ass fight scenes.

The movie opens with a montage of martial artists from around the world training via their owns means and methods. We are then introduced to our main character Frank Dux (Van Damme), a US army recruit who has been invited to take part in the Kumite in Hong Kong. Upon discovering it's brutal and illicit nature, the army tries to prevent Dux from going. Adamant to compete, Dux goes A.W.O.L. in order to take part.

Once in Hong Kong, Dux befriends fellow 'American' Ray Jackson (Gibb), who is also participating in the Kumite, albeit with a vastly discrepant fighting style. He also meets American journalist Janice Kent (Ayres), who is attempting to report on the tournament, despite the stringent ban on press involvement.

With the Kumite underway, Dux quickly comes across Chong Li (Yeung), a highly skilled, ruthless fighter from South Korea, and current reining champ. Dux attracts Li's animosity by breaking his record for fastest knockout in his first fight, resulting in a war of words and intense stare-downs.

As I mentioned earlier, the movie is based on a true story. Frank Dux was the first American to ever win the Kumite, and set a number of records that still stand, including most knockouts, fastest knockout, and after years of competitions, he retired undefeated. Whether or not the film is entirely factually accurate, no one can be sure. Several people have disputed many of Dux claims over the years, even going as far as to say that he never even competed in the Kumite, let along emerged as the victor.

But whether or not the movie is entirely true, I still enjoy it. On the surface, it's a fairly straightforward 'guy who needs to prove himself' story, which often involve martial arts. Dux wants to prove to his Sensei, an accomplished Japanese Kung Fu master, that he will do him proud, as he enters the tournament as a member of their Tanaka clan.

The film suffers from some significant problems, predominantly Mr. Van Dammes', ahem, acting. Yes he can barely speak English, and has almost no idea how to emote, but fortunately this film wisely keeps his dialogue to a minimum, letting his punches and kicks doing the talking. It's also very cheesy, cliched, and delivers very few surprises. But on the plus side, the locations are very impressive and well shot, the antagonist is a serious bad ass who you actually wanted to see more of. Last but not least, there are the fight scenes. Let's face it, this is what our main character does best, and watching him in action makes you completely forget that he has the acting talent of, well, Jean Claude Van Damme. If you love martial arts, give it a look, if not, honestly, you aren't missing anything.

Mrs. Doubtfire

Well so far on my blog a couple of actors/actresses have made multiple appearances. Today, another will join this list. None other than legendary comic Robin Williams, who starred in a movie that I actually referenced in my review of Jumanji. It's a personal favourite of mine, and another moment for Williams to make us laugh out loud, and then tug at our heart strings. You all know it, you all love it, now lets talk about it: Mrs. Doubtfire.

Released in 1993 under the direction of Chris Columbus (Home Alone, The Help), and starring Williams alongside Sally Field, the movie revolves around a man who loses custody of his children following his divorce, and utilizes unconventional methods in order to spend more time with them. Filled with all the warmth, charm and humour you would expect from a Williams films, it's a movie I just never get tired of, so let's see what it has to offer.

The movie opens with Daniel Hillard (Williams), a talented but temperamental voice actor, quitting his job, as he has the tendency to do. Having nothing to do for the rest of the day, he picks up his children Lydia, Chris and Natalie from school. Daniel adores his children, and they reciprocate. As it is Chris' birthday, he decides to thrown a wild birthday party at their house, much to the chagrin of his wife Miranda (Field), who abruptly ends it.

Tired with Daniel's antics, and his apparent inability to take anything seriously, she decides she wants a divorce. Having a residence and a fruitful job, custody of the children is granted to Miranda, with Daniel being granted supervised visits once a week.

Unlike most movie characters unsatisfied with a decision made in court, Daniel does not obtain a gun and go on a revenge killing spree. Instead, he disguises himself as a woman named, you guessed it, 'Mrs. Doubtfire'. Miranda is looking for a housekeeper to take care of the children while she is at work, and Daniel applies for the job under the guise of a long-in-the-tooth Scottish nanny. Impressed with 'her' credentials and experience, Doubtfire is hired on the spot, and Daniel is able to spend time with his kids, albeit in a bulky woman's suit.

The comical possibilities this situation presents are plentiful, and the movie does not disappoint when it comes to it's joke delivery. I laugh myself stupid no matter how many times I see them. The side characters, including Robert Prosky as Daniel's boss and Pierce Brosnan as Stu, Miranda's new love interest, all play their parts well, and aren't just throw-away performances. The love Daniels exhibits for his children is not only authentic, but is the driving force behind the movie. We always believe that his methods, while unorthodox, are all part of his attempt to be with those he is closest to. It's a great family film, one of the best. I've seen it a hundred times, and I know I'll see it a hundred more.

Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

Throughout history several authors have perfected, epitomized, or even created a style of writing. James Joyce: stream of conscience; Ernest Hemingway: understated; and the focus of today's review, Hunter S. Thompson: Gonzo Journalism. Never heard of it? Gonzo involves a style of writing in which the author becomes involved in their stories to such an extent that they themselves become the focus, & Thompson's 1971 drug-fueled search for the American Dream is regarded by many as his finest work. So to celebrate this, I'm going to take a look at the 1998 film based on this adventure: Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas.

Directed by Terry Gilliam (of Monty Python Fame), and starring Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro, Fear & Loathing follows a journalist and his attorney traveling to Las Vegas in the hope of finding the American Dream, only to discover that it is long gone. Surreal, insane, grotesque, and completely over-the-top, it's one of the craziest movie experiences of all time, so let's find out why.

After a montage of protest clips, we cut to our 2 main characters: Raoul Duke (Depp) and Dr. Gonzo (Del Toro). The men are on their way from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, ostensibly to cover the Mint 400. In actual fact, they are heading their with a suitcase chock-full of mind-bending pharmaceuticals, preparing themselves for, quite literally, the trip of a lifetime. Within the first 5 minutes they are off their heads on a combination of weed and mescaline, and after an unsavoury encounter with a timid hitchhiker (a Tobey Maquire cameo), Raoul indulges in 'Sunshine Acid'. By the time they arrive at their hotel, Raoul is so tripped-out that he beings to freak out when they get to the reception.

Duke sets out to cover the Mint 400 for his magazine, but quickly loses interest, reverting back to taking copious volumes of drugs and wandering around Las Vegas and causing all kind of havoc.

To be honest, there's not much else I can say about the films plot, because this is pretty much it. They go to Vegas, get stoned and perpetrate outlandish antics. So you would think the movie is incredibly dull right? Wrong. This film is a ton of fun to watch. It has some of the most surreal images, wildest scenarios, and watching it feels a bit like going on a really mad road trip with a group of random people. They set out to find the American Dream., but all they find is a city overrun with greed, corruption and cynicism. Duke himself is a pessimistic character, but even he can't believe the attitudes of some of the unscrupulous characters that they encounter.

Thompson's writing is just like the man himself. It's fearless, cynical, unflinching, to-the-point, and pulls absolutely no punches. This film captures this beautifully. It's so tasteless, so foul, and so difficult to watch, it's impossible not to enjoy. If you're a fan of Thompson, you'll love it. If not, you'll still find something to marvel at.

Enter The Dragon

Bruce Lee, God rest his soul, was one of the most popular and influential martial artists back in his day, and remains arguably the most iconic of all ass-kicking movie stars.  He was tough, fast, and had skills and abilities that, even after several decades, still have not been equalled. He was the quintessential quick-fisted movie hero, and today, he is going to receive the acknowledgement he deserves. I am going to review a Bruce Lee film that celebrates its 40th birthday this year. It's the one and only marital arts action epic Enter The Dragon

Directed by Robert Clouse (The Pack, The Ultimate Warrior) Enter The Dragon stars Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, Shih Kien, and Robert Wall. The plot centres around a martial arts tournament taking place on an island at the behest of a mysterious individual with unknown intentions. Regarded by many as the greatest Kung Fu film of all time, it's time to celebrate this little marvel and give it the credit it so richly deserves. Let's dive right in.

Lee (his actual name in the film) is a Shaolin martial artist with, you guessed it, unrivalled skills in hand-to-hand combat. He is contacted by a British Intelligence Agent named Braithwaite, who is attempting to expose the clandestine activities of a former Shaolin monk named Han (Shih Kien). Han is hosting a martial arts tournament on his private island, ostensibly to recruit the world's best fighters, and arrangements are made for Lee to compete.

Once on the island he runs into 2 other competitors: Roper (Saxon) a gambler on the run from the mob, and Williams (Kelly), an African-American activist, and old friend of Roper.

Lee makes contact with a woman named Mei Ling, an informant placed on the island by Braithwaite. From her, Lee discovers that many of Han's women often disappear and are never heard from again, generally turning up dead from Heroin overdoses. Lee begins to sneak out of his room at night, an action strictly forbidden within the compound, and tries his best to investigate Han's shady organisation.

                                    Jackie Chan getting beaten up by Lee in his first film role.

It's a pretty basic set up. the plot and characters are nothing special. Naturally, what makes this movie are the fight scenes. If you asked me to named the greatest movie fight scene, it would almost certainly be one from this film. Most notably the scene where he fights Han's guards using his fists, feet, and whatever weapons he liberates from his opponents.

But one of the things about it that makes it so great is that, unlike many other martial arts movies, it isn't simply mindless fighting, it actually also has some emotional backing. Lee's first fight one the island is against one of Han's bodyguards, who was responsible for his sisters death many years ago. And after the final battle, Roper discovers the body of a woman that he shared a bond with while on the island.

In it's day, the film was a phenomenon. Today, it's regarded as a masterpiece, and one of the most sought-after martial arts films, and the defining moments of the 'Golden Age of Kung Fu Cinema'. It's slick, it's well acted, it's engaging, has an easy-to-follow storyline, legitimate emotion, and some of histories greatest fight scenes. It could only have come from 1 man, often imitated, never bettered. Bruce Lee, you are sorely missed.

Brubaker

Prison movies have been a staple of cinema for decades now. The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, 12 Monkeys, The Longest Yard, Shutter Island, the list goes one. Well I decided it was time I took a look at one. It's not very well known; in fact I know only 2 people who have seen it, and one of them is me, but it is very deserving of the praise it received, and should be acknowledged for the real-life story it depicted with such unhindered realism. Today's movie is the 1980 Academy Award nominated film Brubaker.

Directed by Stuart Rosenberg (who also directed Cool Hand Luke, one of the most reknonwed prison movies in history), Brubaker stars Robert Redford, Yaphet Kotto, David Keith and an extensive supporting cast. It follows a prison warden and his attempts to reform a prison that seems completely beyond hope. It's harsh and gritty, but also makes space for humour and some great plot twists.

The movie opens with a prisoner named Stan Collins (Redford) on a bus bound for Wakefield prison. Once inside, he witnesses unjust prisoner treatment, including whippings, sexual abuse, poor sanitation, unhygienic food, and decrepit living conditions. He also notices that there are no guards in the complex, and instead, the day-to-day running of the place is handled by the trustees, who, as you may have surmised, abuse their position to the point of forgetting that they themselves are criminals.

During a stand-off, Collins reveals that he is actually Henry Brubaker, the new Warden. He plans to reform the facility, and stamp out the cruel and vicious treatment of the inmates. This revelation disturbs the trustees, as they believe that they will now be punished for what they have been doing with their authority, and that the prisoners will no longer be on a lower level than them.

Brubaker seeks help in his quest in the form of non-abusive trustee named Dickie (Yotto), and street-smart habitual car thief Larry (Keith). With their aid, he discovers that the corruption extends much further than uninhabitable conditions and inmate abuse, and in doing so attracts the wrath of several compromised politicians, who benefit greatly from the Wakefield's previous conditions.

The movie itself is based on the real-life exploits of Tom Murton, who undertook a similar mission in a prison in Arkansas, and was successful in prosecuting its administrators for prisoner abuse and human rights violations. Brubaker struggles against almost insurmountable odds, fully aware that all the officials want is for him to leave things as they are. Every step he takes is met with castigation and hostility, but he keeps doing what he thinks is right, and the movie does a great job in showing us what the character is going through. Many of the things he does actually blow up in his face, and you are left to ask whether or not he is often doing the right things.

But whatever you think about his morals, his politics, or his methods, you always believe he is trying his best, and fighting for what he believes in. With that, we get not only a stark, moving, and often shocking movie, we get a character study of one of the bravest men in American history. A man who fought from the heart, and despite all the scorn and criticism, was ultimately victorious.