Total Recall

Well, for the 3rd time since I started doing these reviews, I'm going to do another themed month. First we had 'So Bad It's Good September', then we had 'Angelina Jolie Month', now we are going to celebrate the worlds toughest Austrian with 'Schwarzenegger Month'.

For those fans of the Nostalgia Critic, of which I am one, I am fully aware that he also reviewed 4 of Arnold's movies. I loved the idea, so I decided to review another 4 of his films. It's worth noting that I won't be looking at any of the films that the NC looked at, so I'm not entirely ripping him off. But anyway, without further ado, here is the first critique of this special month, 'Total Recall'

Released in 1990 under the direction of  Sci-Fi veteran Paul Verhoeven (Starship Troopers, Robocop) and starting Schwarzenegger alongside Sharon Stone, Rachel Ticotin, Michael Ironside and Ronny Cox, the story concerns a construction worker from the future who finds himself fighting an evil, corrupt governor on Mars. As far as Sci-Fi movies go, it's one of my faves, so let's see what it has to offer.

We are introduced to Douglas Quaid (Schwarzenegger), a construction worker in the year 2084, who has been having recurring dreams about the planet of Mars, which human beings have inhabited. Quaid's wife Lori (Stone) is generally dismissive about these dreams, but is concerned about how much it weighs on her husband's mind. Quaid is fascinated by Mars, and as such, visits a company called Rekall, who are able to literally implant a vacation into their client's heads, and chooses a holiday on Mars. These vacations are free from the usual annoyances encountered on vacations, such as exorbitant hotel prices, unreasonable taxi fares, inclement weather etc.

For an extra 300 'credits', Quaid is able to spice up his vacation by going there as a Secret Agent. Now granted, an Austria body-building secret agent on assignment on Mars sounds pretty cool, but from the get-go, things immediately go awry. Before the memory can be implanted, Quiad becomes hostile, accusing the Rekall employees of blowing his cover. Sedating him, erasing his memory of Rekall, and chucking him a cab home, Quiad then discovers that his wife is, in fact, not his wife, and actually just an agent hired to keep an eye on him. Before he can be murdered by armed thugs, he escapes into the street.

                                                     I'm playing the villain. Surprised?

Just when it seems that not even a dose of the Clap could make his day any worse, he is contacted by a mysterious man who informs him that he is being tracked, and that he is in fact a man called Hauser, and used to work for Vilos Cohaagen (Cox), the cruel and ruthless Governor of Mars. Cohaagen is harvesting an ore called Turbinium, the mining of which releases toxic fumes that puts thousands of innocent lives at risk.

So our hero sets out for Mars to kick Cohaagen's Turbinium-mining ass. Accompanying him is Melina (Ticotin), a woman who has been appearing in Quaid's Mars dreams, and constantly on his tail is Cohaagen's blood-thirsty Lieutenant Richter (Ironside), who wants nothing more than to put a bullet in Quaid's head.

If you are a Schwarzenegger fan, you will love this film. It has everything the man is famous for: Massive gun fights, punch-ups, one-liners, explosions, all that good stuff. On top of this, it has impressive visual effects, memorable characters, and, for a Schwarzenegger film, a pretty complicated plot. It's not just 'Arnold shows up, shoots people and leaves'. There's genuine motivation, making the action all the more compelling. Ronny Cox plays a very nasty villain, determined to do everything to maintain his power, and let nobody stand in the way of his pernicious plans.

I've heard that the 2012 remake was not very impressive, nowhere near the standard of the original. Having never seen it, I can't pass judgement. All I can say is that the original movie is awesome. It's big, clever, faced paced, and has Arnold Schwarzenegger kicking the Bejesus out of countless bad guys. What more could you possibly want?

More 'Schwarzenegger Month' on the way!

Unleashed

Guess what everybody?! ANOTHER MARTIAL ARTS MOVIE!! Yes I know, I've been doing quite a few of them recently, but now that I think about it, there are a tonne of Kung Fu films out there. So today, I'm going to look at yet another martial arts film, or should I say an anti-martial arts film. What do I mean by that? Well let's check out the film and find out. This is Unleashed.

Directed by Louis Leterrier (The Transporter 1 & 2), with screenplay credit going to film heavyweight Luc Besson, and released in 2005, Unleashed stars Jet Li alongside big screen names Morgan Freeman and Bob Hoskins. It follows a man who has been kept confined and emotionally and physically abused by a gangster who claims to be his protector, and him escaping and finding himself out of place in the real world. It's not just a movie about people fighting, it's a dive into a tortured and sheltered psyche, and an attempt to integrate it into modern society. What results is one of my favourite Jet Li films. So, as we always do, lets begin with the story.

A nasty loan shark named Bart (Hoskins) is able to coerce his clients to repay their loans with the use of his underling Danny (Li). Danny has a child's mentality, and is kept repressed by a collar worn round his neck. Once this is removed, he becomes a highly skilled fighter, who's only goal is to eliminate his targets.

Upon discovering an underground fighting tournament in which Danny can make him good money if he wins, he signs him up. But after the very first fight, Bart gets mixed up with a reprobate, and is presumed dead after a shooting. Fortunately Danny escapes, and come across a blind piano tuner named Sam (Freeman), who takes him into his apartment. Here, he is looked after by Sam and his step-daughter Victoria, who treat him with care and compassion, but also a little understandable curiosity.

Danny starts a new life with his new family, attempting to fit into society, but just as things are going well, he runs into one of Bart's lackeys, who informs him that Bart is, in fact, alive and well, and is looking forward to getting him back.

So what we have is a pretty typical fitting-into-social-norm story. For me, what drives this film is Li's performance. I know he isn't regarded as a great actor, but this film really allows him to show what he can do with a role like this. He expresses sadness, misery, vulnerability, curiosity, joy, relief, everything we expect his character to be going through. Freeman is also very good as the man taking Danny under his wing despite knowing almost nothing about him. There's a genuine kindness about him, a quality Freeman has virtually perfected. Bob Hoskins, I have to admit, is a pretty dull villain. His motivation is pretty much money, money, money. He loses Danny, jeopardising his potentially lucrative future, so he wants him back. Aside from that, he just yells and makes threats under his breath.

The marital arts action is actually pretty downplayed. With the exception of the chase near the end, most of the film focuses on developing Danny's character, delving into this past, and establishing the bond with his new family, and I love that. The focus is kept where it should be, and it leads to a very fitting and poignant climax. A great movie, plain and simple.

Dude, Where's My Car?

We've all heard of the 'stoner comedy'. Much like the 'buddy cop' movies I discussed a few weeks ago, they are in no short supply. Harold & Kumar, Clerks, Ali G Indahouse, and pretty much every film in Seth Rogen's repertoire. So, as you may have guessed, the subject of today's review is a stoner movie, one of the most famous as a matter of fact: Dude, Where's My Car?

Released in 2000 (can you believe it), and directed by Danny Leiner (The Great New Wonderful), the movie features Ashton Kutcher (when his films didn't make you want to scalp yourself) and Seann William Scott alongside Jennifer Garner, Marla Sokoloff, and a host of others. Poorly received upon release, it certainly isn't a great movie, but it's nowhere near terrible. It's quirky, inventive, and actually pretty damn funny at times, so let's dive right in.

The movie opens with our 2 pot-headed protagonists, Jesse (Kutcher) and Chester (Scott), finding themselves in that most cliched of waster scenarios: Waking up after a big night, and having no recollection of what took place during it.

After eating some of the pudding they found in their kitchen, a lifetimes supply in fact, they head out to visit their twin girlfriends Wanda & Wilma (Garner and Sokoloff respectively), as it happens to be their anniversary. Unfortunately, upon leaving their house, they almost immediately ask the question that drives the entire movie: Dude, where's my car?

                                                     Kutcher's career went that way!

From then on, our hapless heroes attempt to piece together the events that took place the night before. During this quest, they get into several unsavoury confrontations with a transsexual stripper, get kidnapped by a geeky-space cult, encounter hot alien women in black jumpsuits, are followed by a pair of Nordic spacemen, are taken prisoner by French Ostrich breeders, and have a most annoying incident at a Chinese drive-through. I'll admit, I've had some pretty weird days, but I think this one dwarfs the lot.

So, as you may have gathered, one of the things the movie has going for it is it's inventiveness, or should I say it's outlandishness. I think you would have to be blitzed out of your skull to think up some of the scenarios this film throws at us. Much like Beavis & Butthead: Do America, the main characters are faced with many challenges, and yet manage to deal with all of them while maintaining their characteristically oblivious attitude.

As you may have surmised from the first few paragraphs of this review, I'm not an Ashton Kutcher fan, especially his recent work. The multi-razzie winner has been turning out some utter crap as of late, but here, he's very likable, as is Scotts' character. If they had simply been crass and obnoxious like in so many contemporary stoner films, it would have completely killed it. But as is, we have a flick that is profoundly silly, but at the same time is funny, witty, and actually pretty endearing. As one of the most iconic stoner comedies of all time, it gives you exactly what you are looking for.

Bloodsport

If you read my 'Enter The Dragon' review last month, and my 'The One' review last year, you will know that I'm a sucker for martial arts movies. So, as you may have guessed, today I will be reviewing another one. Based on a true story, the 1988 biopic Bloodsport.

Directed by Newt Arnold, and starring the Muscles from Brussels, Jean Claude Van Damme in one of his first feature films, alongside Donald Gibb, Bolo Yeung and Leah Ayres. The films centres on the real-life Kung Fu tournament known as the Kumite (pronounced as Koo-Mat-Te), and a first timer taking part in order to prove himself as an accomplished martial artist. It's one of my personal favourite Kung Fu films, due to it's story, it's authenticity and, of course, it's kick-ass fight scenes.

The movie opens with a montage of martial artists from around the world training via their owns means and methods. We are then introduced to our main character Frank Dux (Van Damme), a US army recruit who has been invited to take part in the Kumite in Hong Kong. Upon discovering it's brutal and illicit nature, the army tries to prevent Dux from going. Adamant to compete, Dux goes A.W.O.L. in order to take part.

Once in Hong Kong, Dux befriends fellow 'American' Ray Jackson (Gibb), who is also participating in the Kumite, albeit with a vastly discrepant fighting style. He also meets American journalist Janice Kent (Ayres), who is attempting to report on the tournament, despite the stringent ban on press involvement.

With the Kumite underway, Dux quickly comes across Chong Li (Yeung), a highly skilled, ruthless fighter from South Korea, and current reining champ. Dux attracts Li's animosity by breaking his record for fastest knockout in his first fight, resulting in a war of words and intense stare-downs.

As I mentioned earlier, the movie is based on a true story. Frank Dux was the first American to ever win the Kumite, and set a number of records that still stand, including most knockouts, fastest knockout, and after years of competitions, he retired undefeated. Whether or not the film is entirely factually accurate, no one can be sure. Several people have disputed many of Dux claims over the years, even going as far as to say that he never even competed in the Kumite, let along emerged as the victor.

But whether or not the movie is entirely true, I still enjoy it. On the surface, it's a fairly straightforward 'guy who needs to prove himself' story, which often involve martial arts. Dux wants to prove to his Sensei, an accomplished Japanese Kung Fu master, that he will do him proud, as he enters the tournament as a member of their Tanaka clan.

The film suffers from some significant problems, predominantly Mr. Van Dammes', ahem, acting. Yes he can barely speak English, and has almost no idea how to emote, but fortunately this film wisely keeps his dialogue to a minimum, letting his punches and kicks doing the talking. It's also very cheesy, cliched, and delivers very few surprises. But on the plus side, the locations are very impressive and well shot, the antagonist is a serious bad ass who you actually wanted to see more of. Last but not least, there are the fight scenes. Let's face it, this is what our main character does best, and watching him in action makes you completely forget that he has the acting talent of, well, Jean Claude Van Damme. If you love martial arts, give it a look, if not, honestly, you aren't missing anything.

Mrs. Doubtfire

Well so far on my blog a couple of actors/actresses have made multiple appearances. Today, another will join this list. None other than legendary comic Robin Williams, who starred in a movie that I actually referenced in my review of Jumanji. It's a personal favourite of mine, and another moment for Williams to make us laugh out loud, and then tug at our heart strings. You all know it, you all love it, now lets talk about it: Mrs. Doubtfire.

Released in 1993 under the direction of Chris Columbus (Home Alone, The Help), and starring Williams alongside Sally Field, the movie revolves around a man who loses custody of his children following his divorce, and utilizes unconventional methods in order to spend more time with them. Filled with all the warmth, charm and humour you would expect from a Williams films, it's a movie I just never get tired of, so let's see what it has to offer.

The movie opens with Daniel Hillard (Williams), a talented but temperamental voice actor, quitting his job, as he has the tendency to do. Having nothing to do for the rest of the day, he picks up his children Lydia, Chris and Natalie from school. Daniel adores his children, and they reciprocate. As it is Chris' birthday, he decides to thrown a wild birthday party at their house, much to the chagrin of his wife Miranda (Field), who abruptly ends it.

Tired with Daniel's antics, and his apparent inability to take anything seriously, she decides she wants a divorce. Having a residence and a fruitful job, custody of the children is granted to Miranda, with Daniel being granted supervised visits once a week.

Unlike most movie characters unsatisfied with a decision made in court, Daniel does not obtain a gun and go on a revenge killing spree. Instead, he disguises himself as a woman named, you guessed it, 'Mrs. Doubtfire'. Miranda is looking for a housekeeper to take care of the children while she is at work, and Daniel applies for the job under the guise of a long-in-the-tooth Scottish nanny. Impressed with 'her' credentials and experience, Doubtfire is hired on the spot, and Daniel is able to spend time with his kids, albeit in a bulky woman's suit.

The comical possibilities this situation presents are plentiful, and the movie does not disappoint when it comes to it's joke delivery. I laugh myself stupid no matter how many times I see them. The side characters, including Robert Prosky as Daniel's boss and Pierce Brosnan as Stu, Miranda's new love interest, all play their parts well, and aren't just throw-away performances. The love Daniels exhibits for his children is not only authentic, but is the driving force behind the movie. We always believe that his methods, while unorthodox, are all part of his attempt to be with those he is closest to. It's a great family film, one of the best. I've seen it a hundred times, and I know I'll see it a hundred more.

Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

Throughout history several authors have perfected, epitomized, or even created a style of writing. James Joyce: stream of conscience; Ernest Hemingway: understated; and the focus of today's review, Hunter S. Thompson: Gonzo Journalism. Never heard of it? Gonzo involves a style of writing in which the author becomes involved in their stories to such an extent that they themselves become the focus, & Thompson's 1971 drug-fueled search for the American Dream is regarded by many as his finest work. So to celebrate this, I'm going to take a look at the 1998 film based on this adventure: Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas.

Directed by Terry Gilliam (of Monty Python Fame), and starring Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro, Fear & Loathing follows a journalist and his attorney traveling to Las Vegas in the hope of finding the American Dream, only to discover that it is long gone. Surreal, insane, grotesque, and completely over-the-top, it's one of the craziest movie experiences of all time, so let's find out why.

After a montage of protest clips, we cut to our 2 main characters: Raoul Duke (Depp) and Dr. Gonzo (Del Toro). The men are on their way from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, ostensibly to cover the Mint 400. In actual fact, they are heading their with a suitcase chock-full of mind-bending pharmaceuticals, preparing themselves for, quite literally, the trip of a lifetime. Within the first 5 minutes they are off their heads on a combination of weed and mescaline, and after an unsavoury encounter with a timid hitchhiker (a Tobey Maquire cameo), Raoul indulges in 'Sunshine Acid'. By the time they arrive at their hotel, Raoul is so tripped-out that he beings to freak out when they get to the reception.

Duke sets out to cover the Mint 400 for his magazine, but quickly loses interest, reverting back to taking copious volumes of drugs and wandering around Las Vegas and causing all kind of havoc.

To be honest, there's not much else I can say about the films plot, because this is pretty much it. They go to Vegas, get stoned and perpetrate outlandish antics. So you would think the movie is incredibly dull right? Wrong. This film is a ton of fun to watch. It has some of the most surreal images, wildest scenarios, and watching it feels a bit like going on a really mad road trip with a group of random people. They set out to find the American Dream., but all they find is a city overrun with greed, corruption and cynicism. Duke himself is a pessimistic character, but even he can't believe the attitudes of some of the unscrupulous characters that they encounter.

Thompson's writing is just like the man himself. It's fearless, cynical, unflinching, to-the-point, and pulls absolutely no punches. This film captures this beautifully. It's so tasteless, so foul, and so difficult to watch, it's impossible not to enjoy. If you're a fan of Thompson, you'll love it. If not, you'll still find something to marvel at.

Enter The Dragon

Bruce Lee, God rest his soul, was one of the most popular and influential martial artists back in his day, and remains arguably the most iconic of all ass-kicking movie stars.  He was tough, fast, and had skills and abilities that, even after several decades, still have not been equalled. He was the quintessential quick-fisted movie hero, and today, he is going to receive the acknowledgement he deserves. I am going to review a Bruce Lee film that celebrates its 40th birthday this year. It's the one and only marital arts action epic Enter The Dragon

Directed by Robert Clouse (The Pack, The Ultimate Warrior) Enter The Dragon stars Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, Shih Kien, and Robert Wall. The plot centres around a martial arts tournament taking place on an island at the behest of a mysterious individual with unknown intentions. Regarded by many as the greatest Kung Fu film of all time, it's time to celebrate this little marvel and give it the credit it so richly deserves. Let's dive right in.

Lee (his actual name in the film) is a Shaolin martial artist with, you guessed it, unrivalled skills in hand-to-hand combat. He is contacted by a British Intelligence Agent named Braithwaite, who is attempting to expose the clandestine activities of a former Shaolin monk named Han (Shih Kien). Han is hosting a martial arts tournament on his private island, ostensibly to recruit the world's best fighters, and arrangements are made for Lee to compete.

Once on the island he runs into 2 other competitors: Roper (Saxon) a gambler on the run from the mob, and Williams (Kelly), an African-American activist, and old friend of Roper.

Lee makes contact with a woman named Mei Ling, an informant placed on the island by Braithwaite. From her, Lee discovers that many of Han's women often disappear and are never heard from again, generally turning up dead from Heroin overdoses. Lee begins to sneak out of his room at night, an action strictly forbidden within the compound, and tries his best to investigate Han's shady organisation.

                                    Jackie Chan getting beaten up by Lee in his first film role.

It's a pretty basic set up. the plot and characters are nothing special. Naturally, what makes this movie are the fight scenes. If you asked me to named the greatest movie fight scene, it would almost certainly be one from this film. Most notably the scene where he fights Han's guards using his fists, feet, and whatever weapons he liberates from his opponents.

But one of the things about it that makes it so great is that, unlike many other martial arts movies, it isn't simply mindless fighting, it actually also has some emotional backing. Lee's first fight one the island is against one of Han's bodyguards, who was responsible for his sisters death many years ago. And after the final battle, Roper discovers the body of a woman that he shared a bond with while on the island.

In it's day, the film was a phenomenon. Today, it's regarded as a masterpiece, and one of the most sought-after martial arts films, and the defining moments of the 'Golden Age of Kung Fu Cinema'. It's slick, it's well acted, it's engaging, has an easy-to-follow storyline, legitimate emotion, and some of histories greatest fight scenes. It could only have come from 1 man, often imitated, never bettered. Bruce Lee, you are sorely missed.