Small Soliders

 For those of you who enjoyed The Mummy, I bring you another little gem from my generation, Small Soldiers. Admittedly, the first time I came across this was in the PC game, and I had no idea that there even WAS a film. So I when it was broadcast on TV some years ago, I knew I had to see it. Needless to say, I really enjoyed it.

If, like me, you grew up in the 90's, then it's more than likely you seen this flick. Released in 1998 under the direction of Joe Dante (Gremlins) and staring Gregory Smith (The Patriot, Rookie Blue) and Kirsten Dunst (Star of pretty much everything!), the movie tells the story of Alan Abernathy & Christy Fimple (Smith & Dunst respectively) who get caught up in a battle between to groups of super-intelligent action figures. Trust me it's much better than it sounds.

The movie begins with the acquisition of a toy company by GloboTech Industries. 2 of the toy makers, Larry and Irwin (Jay Mohr & David cross respectively) are charged by their new boss Gil Mars (Denis Leary) to create some new toys that really push the envelope, that are capable of doing things toys have never done before. Toys that literally 'do what they do in the commercials'.

So while doing research for materials, Larry finds a microprocessor chip known as the 'X-1000', made by the military. Overlooking this snippet of information, he orders a stockpile of them, and they start to put them the new toys. So what are the new toys they are about to implant armed force technology into? Military action figures of course! The Gorgonites & the Commando Elite. The idea being that, when kids play with them, they will fight with one another, with the Gorgonites programmed to lose.

Ya gotta light kid?

So Alan, while working at his fathers toy store, gets hold of an entire set of both factions, and plans to sell them to help turn over a profit, something the store is currently failing to do. But things go awry when the Commandos become active and plan to destroy Gorgonites, as they were designed to do. But fortunately, the Gorgonites, when they aren't getting their asses kicked, were also programmed to lose. So they escape the deadly clutches of the Commandos, and Alan eventually finds and befriends them.

Eventually tracking the Gorgonites to Alan's house, the Commandos, led by Major Chip Hazard (A sinister Tommy Lee Jones), wage a battle of, er, miniature proportions, involving homicidal dolls, highly modified garage equipment and damsels in distress. Yeah, Kirsten Dunst gets kidnapped, what a shock.

Unfortunately, I can't really say why I like this film without regurgitating my comments from the last review. All I can really say is this is a film I grew up with and, as such, I've always enjoyed it, and I always will. The characters are likeable, the story is pretty unique, it has some neat actions scenes, the rivalry between the 2 toy factions is pretty epic, and the whole package its just a whole lotta fun. The ending is pretty nonsensical, and doesn't feel very necessary, but that's kind nit-picky. So if you like simple, charming, harmless enjoyment, be sure to take a look.